Weekend Smiles

Frog at the Bank
A frog is outgrowing his lily pad and decides to make some home improvements. He doesn’t have the money, so he hops to the bank to borrow some.
At the bank, he takes a seat at loan officer Patricia Black’s desk and explains his dilemma.
“I want to upgrade my lily pad, maybe add another window, but I don’t have the cash. Can you lend me the money?”
“Maybe. What can you offer as collateral?”
“Well,” says the frog. “All I have is this paperweight. You shake it up, and it snows on the little village. Cute, huh?”
“Hmm . . . I’ll have to speak to my manager.” She enters her manager’s office.
“Mr. Bitterby, I’ve got a frog at my desk who wants to borrow money for lily pad improvements. But all he can offer for collateral is this glass paperweight.”
Mr. Bitterby takes the paperweight, hefts it in his hand, looks at her and says, “It’s a knick-knack, Patty Black, give the frog a loan.”
The Paint Job
A woman answered the knock at her door and found a destitute man. He wanted to earn money by doing odd jobs, so she asked, “Can you paint?”
“Yes,” he said, “I’m a pretty good painter.”
“Well, here’s a gallon of green paint and a brush. Go behind the house and you’ll see a porch that needs repainting. Be very careful. When you are done, I’ll look it over and pay you what it’s worth.”
It wasn’t more than an hour before he knocked again. “All finished!” he reported with a smile.
“Did you do a good job?” she asked.
“Yes, but lady, there’s one thing I’d like to point out to you. That’s not a Porsche “
Inseparable Brothers
There where once two brothers called William and Wayne. Will was 12 years old and his little brother was 3.
The neighbors noticed they always went around together, if William went down to the ballpark, his little brother would toddle along behind him, even if the game was a bit rough, and when Wayne went to playgroup, his elder brother would come too, and sit there with all the toddlers.
One neighbor thought this was really strange, so one day he leaned over the fence and asked the boys’ mother why they were so inseparable even though they had nothing in common.
“Well,” the mother replied, “didn’t you know? ‘Where there’s a Will there’s a Wayne.’”