Smiles

Taxi Driver and St. Peter

One Easter a priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.

‘Come with me,’ said St. Peter to the taxi driver.

The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St Peter to a mansion. It had everything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.

‘Oh my word, thank you,’ said the taxi driver.

Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rough old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.

‘Wait, I think you are a little mixed up,’ said the priest. ‘Shouldn’t I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God’s word.’

‘Yes, that’s true.’ St Peter rejoined, ‘But during your Easter sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.

A paint job

The church was badly in need of a coat of paint. So the pastor decided he’d do the job himself. But all he had was one bucket of paint. So he got a bunch of buckets and some water, and he thinned the paint enough to cover the entire church. Then he spent all day painting. That night it rained—very hard—and washed all the paint off. The pastor was quite discouraged and asked God, ‘Why…why God, did you let it rain and wash off all my hard work?’

To which God thundered his reply, ‘Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!’

Children’s Books that didn’t quite make it.

The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables

Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share

The Kid’s Guide to Hitchhiking

Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence

The Little Sissy Who Snitched

Some Kittens Can Fly

The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy

Strangers Have the Best Candy

Whining, Kicking, and Crying to Get Your Way

You Were an Accident

Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will

Your Nightmares Are Real

Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School

Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?

Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things

Daddy Drinks Because You Cry