Smiles :>)

A Little Canadian Humour
Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canucks:

  1. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May you may live in Canada.
  2. If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t work there, you may live in Canada.
  3. If you’ve worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Canada
  4. If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialled a wrong number, you may live in Canada
  5. If “Vacation” means going anywhere south of Muncie for the weekend you may live in Canada.
  6. If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Canada
  7. If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Canada
  8. If you have switched from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again, you may live in Canada
  9. If you can drive 90 kms/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Canada
  10. If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Canada
  11. If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Canada
  12. If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Canada
  13. If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km — you’re going 90 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Canada
  14. If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Canada
  15. If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Canada
  16. If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Canada.
  17. If you find 2 degrees “a little chilly”, you may live in Canada

 

You’re Canadian if…

  1. You know how to pronounce and spell Saskatchewan without blinking
  2. You put on shorts as soon as it hits plus 10, even if there is still snow around
  3. You know what a tuque (toque?) is
  4. You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada
  5. You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day
  6. You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing ‘u’s from labor, honor, and color
  7. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers
  8. Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway
  9. You drive on a highway, not a freeway
  10. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is
  11. You understand the sentence, “Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine.”
  12. You drink pop, not soda
  13. You love your fries with poutine
  14. You go to the washroom, not the restroom or bathroom
  15. Someone accidently stepped on your foot. You apologize.
  16. You stepped on someone’s foot. You apologize, then apologize for making them apologize
  17. You have worn shorts and a parka at the same time
  18. “Eh” is a very important part of your vocabulary and you understand all the 1,000 different meanings of “eh”… eh?
  19. You know schools don’t issue a snow day unless there is a severe blizzard
  20. You don’t mind leaving your wet winter boots at the door when visiting your dentist, etc.
  21. You order a “double-double” at Tim Horton’s not two cream and two sugar.